Prior to my due date, we set up a code word to use if I reached my limit or issues arose that resulted in being transferred to a nearby hospital... I didn’t anticipate needing to use that word but it was time to get the help I did not want but desperately needed.

In the quiet embrace of home, a gentle rhythm started to unwind— a rhythm that would soon intertwine with the remarkable symphony of birth. It began with subtle waves of anticipation. I was 40+1 when contractions came on first. It was a full Harvest moon and I had a strong feeling baby would be making her entrance any day now. I spent most of my time during early labor tidying up the house, getting fresh air outside by taking a short walk around the neighborhood and resting as much as I could. The excitement was real and I could not wait to finally meet our girl.

PREPARING FOR THE JOURNEY:

In prep, I spent several months developing relationships with three wonderful midwives in Silverlake, Los Angeles. As most midwives ask, I had jotted down some ideas of what I wanted my first birth to look like. In a sacred space, dark, candlelit, with my husband and I and a birth tub readily available to have a magical and intimate water birth. I spent a lot of time watching home births and water births in preparation for my moment. I truly felt I did everything I possibly could to prepare for this moment— mentally and physically. I read many books on birth such as Ina May and Birthing from Within, both I had been gifted from sweet friends who had natural births. There’s only so much you can do to prepare yourself before you experience those moments for yourself.

THE UNFOLDING OF LABOR:

My due date was December 6th and contractions began on the 7th. They were period-like cramps in my lower abdomen. Manageable at this moment, although I was so incredibly excited I don’t think I took my eyes off my contraction timer app for a solid 3-4 hours. My husband Scott helped keep me comfortable. We cuddled for a while while I got some rest. Time seemed suspended as the hours passed, each one punctuated by the ebb and flow of waves growing in strength and intensity. The late morning of the 8th I felt it was time to head over to the birth center to see if they would admit me. My midwife checked to see how dilated I was and I was at about a 2 even though it felt like a 6. I couldn’t believe it - not to mention driving 40 minutes through LA traffic in the afternoon while in labor, my poor husband. Back home we went to labor some more. After returning home I felt absolutely exhausted and disappointed in myself that I misread the signs. I was fighting the tail end of a nasty cold that winter during this process as well which made things a bit harder. It was a journey of trying to let go of control, practice my affirmations, and let my body take over. After all, I am a woman and my body was made for birth.

NAVIGATING THE UNEXPECTED:

Later that night around 10:30pm things got extremely intense. It was definitely time to head back to the birth center, luckily with less traffic this time around. I was checked again and still had not progressed much but they felt it was best to let me relax in one of the rooms and labor at the birth center. I spent about 13 hours between the bed, the shower, and the tub trying to relax and move things along. My midwives asked if I wanted to have my water broken in hopes to help progress labor and have me dilate more quickly. At this point I was feeling things so intensely I was willing to do anything to speed the process up, so ahead with it we went. The tool they used was an amniotic hook— a crochet like hook that’s inserted into your cervix to rupture the membranes. This was probably the most violating and disappointing part of the entire experience I had thus far. I was genuinely so confused why my body was not doing what it was made to do. Why didn’t my water break as every other woman’s does?

From that point on I began to experience the most intense back labor. I was completely exhausted, lying on the bed begging to sleep but my body wouldn’t allow me to. We still had work to do. With every contraction, I would tap Scott. He would have to place his entire body weight onto my back right hip because the pain was so intense. We later found out that the baby’s head was notched in my right pelvis causing her to not be able to descend naturally as needed. My midwives checked me again, “She is right there…” they said.

When we are nearing our due date we set an emergency word with our partners. This is essentially used when you are at your wit’s end and have no other choice but to result to the hospital. I looked at my Midwife and looked at Scott and said our code word. It was time to get the help I did not want but desperately needed. Because of our midwives, we thankfully had a connection to a great Doctor at Cedar Sinai in Beverly Hills and were admitted right away. At this point, it was about 2:30pm on the 9th. 2 ½ days after my contractions first began. My birth plan was looking all sorts of different at this point. My body was so exhausted and it was time to get an epidural to help manage some of the pain I was experiencing in my back. I had a 102 degree fever when it was time to push. I will never forget being covered in ice packs head to toe with my mom at one shoulder and Scott at the other. My mom was not in my birth plan as I wanted very minimal distraction or attention during my natural birth. That is one thing that I will be extremely thankful for in this turn of events is that my mom got to be there for the birth of her first grandchild. Something I wasn’t aware of before that I needed. A superwoman at my side that felt like a full circle moment.

THE FINAL PUSH:

I had to stop pushing after each contraction when Doc noticed the baby’s heart rate was declining. Before I knew it there were about 15 people in the room monitoring my birth. My water had been broken for 21 hours at this point and we had found she had meconium aspiration (swallowed feces in utero due to the amniotic sac being broken). I remained as calm as possible but she had to get out within the next couple of pushes. Doc had resulted in the assistance of a vacuum to pull her the rest of the way out, and after one final push, at 3:31am on December 10th, we had our baby Earthside with us.

Those first few moments felt like an instant relief. She was with us, finally. My beautiful baby girl, Tezza Lane. Both of us were exhausted but were able to nestle together skin to skin. I did not want to let her go. The team said she was very lucky to not have to go to the NICU.

EMBRACING THE AFTERMATH:

The next couple of days were blissful but tough. Tezza had to go through a couple of rounds of antibiotics to kill any bacteria in her system from the meconium aspiration. I wanted to keep this very minimal to refrain from killing any good bacteria she needed in her system as she was only a few hours old. It felt like an eternity anytime she was away from us at the hospital but Scott went with her each time to monitor what was happening and make sure she was safe. The best Dada to our baby. The night of the 12th we were finally discharged and able to head home to begin our life as a family. The most magical moment of this entire journey and truly felt like the light at the end of a crazy windy tunnel. My birth story was not what I set it out to be. It was not the natural birth I had intended, but my body and my baby needed extra help and I feel fortunate to have had an amazing team to help me have a safe and minimal intervention birth in the end. A crazy and beautiful ride to meet my sweet firstborn. Tezza is everything we needed and more.

If I could give any advice to new moms it would be this— Set your intentions and release control. God, your body, and your baby are in charge. Do your research and prep but also trust the process and truly know that there is support in all forms waiting for you when you need it. Each birth is unique in itself and God will guide you on your way while He holds your hand to the finish line. You are a beautiful and powerful being capable of it all!

Disclaimer: This article is based on personal experience only, not to be used as medical advice. For more serious questions, consult a medical professional.