Embracing the Journey: Breaking Free From the “Bounce Back” Trap
How can you truly “bounce back” when your life is changed forever? That includes your body. You can’t go back.
TRANSPARENTLY MOM CREATOR…
MELANIE
When it comes to discussing postpartum body changes, the phrase "bounce back" seems to be top of mind. It's a phrase thrown around by well-meaning people, filled with the hope of a fast return to one's pre-pregnancy physique. We've all heard it, and for many new mamas, it can create unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure. In my experience, these words of encouragement painted an idealized picture of what "bouncing back" meant, setting me up for disappointment and self-doubt. I want to share my journey of realizing the flaws in the "bounce back" culture, loving ourselves, and understanding the beauty of our postpartum bodies.
*Pre-pregnancy - first 4 photos (2021), 40wk Pregnant (Nov 2022), Postpartum - last 5 photos (3mo pp, 5mo pp, 6mo pp, 8mo pp)
MY WEIGHT STRUGGLE
Prior to my pregnancy, I maintained a healthy lifestyle by exercising 4-5 days a week in high-intensity CrossFit workouts. My gym time not only helped me achieve the body I desired but also gave me mental clarity and happiness. I was able to get off my anti-anxiety medication through this outlet. However, my pregnancy journey caught me by surprise. Morning sickness hit during my first trimester, limiting my gym visits drastically. As my pregnancy progressed, I suffered from Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) and sciatica flare-ups, forcing me to stop my workouts altogether by 5.5 months. It ended up making my weight gain during pregnancy that much more impactful as my anxiety returned and my overall body image crumbled. None of this was what I saw or planned for myself while pregnant since I assumed I would have been able to work out up till delivery. Sadly, that was not my reality.
GENERALIZATIONS VS INDIVIDUALITY
The internet and popular pregnancy books generalized guidelines for pregnancy weight gain, suggesting that healthy women should aim for a range of 25 to 35 pounds. That broad statement completely fails to acknowledge the uniqueness of every woman's body and its response to pregnancy. Each of us is extremely different, and our bodies navigate this transformative journey in our own distinctive way. It's beyond frustrating to think that a standard measurement like this one could alter our worth or even taint our experience. Plus, it doesn’t help to see all over Instagram from an array of mommy or fitness influencers that pregnancy and postpartum look like a breeze. While one mom successfully maintained her workout routine until delivery doesn't guarantee that I'll have the same experience. Similarly, just because another mom who seems to have a similar body type to me had to be on bed rest during her last trimester doesn't necessarily mean I will face the same situation. And just because one mom could indulge in anything and everything while only gaining 30 pounds during her pregnancy, it doesn't guarantee that my own journey will follow the same course. My personal experience taught me to reject generalizations and embrace the idea that our bodies have their own individual paths. This newfound understanding gives me hope I will have a more enjoyable and peaceful pregnancy in the next go around.
THE REALITY OF POSTPARTUM
Our bodies undergo an unbelievable amount of transformation during pregnancy to support and build a life for 9 whole months. Organs shift, ribcages expand, skin stretches, and blood volume nearly doubles—all to create and sustain a new human being. Even with this realization, I still found myself obsessing with the notion of "bouncing back". All I could think about was seeing that scale number go back down to my starting weight. How could I expect my body to return to its pre-pregnancy physique when it had undergone such remarkable changes? I think many of us mamas were unaware of the true magnitude of this transformation until we experienced it firsthand.
FROM BOUNCE-BACK TO SELF-LOVE
It is so important to redefine what it means to "bounce back" after childbirth. We must change our perspective and recognize that our postpartum bodies are not lesser versions of our former selves but rather newer, more extraordinary ones. Our bodies hold a beauty that extends far beyond their external appearance. While it may take time to fully love and appreciate our postpartum bodies, we need to be patient, kind, and accepting. The journey toward self-love requires grace, healing, and a true understanding that our bodies need time to recover. As new mamas, our focus should be loving on our babies, adapting to this new role in life, and really allowing our bodies the rest and care they deserve. These priorities far outweigh any negativity or self-judgment we might direct toward ourselves. We must do our best to not compare ourselves with those we follow on social media, or even family and friends who have gone before us. Our symptoms or bodies may have similarities but we are all different in such distinctive ways deep down that no two pregnancies or postpartum experiences are the same. While it’s an easy mindset to revert back to, it is one we should be intentional to not get lost in.
The culture of "bounce back" surrounding postpartum bodies can do more harm than good. It creates unrealistic expectations, disregards individual experiences, and pushes the idea that our worth is determined by our physical appearance. We've got to dismantle this flawed mindset and embrace the transformative journey of postpartum. Our hot mom bods are only a healthy mindset away!
Disclaimer: This article is based on personal experience only, not to be used as medical advice. For more serious questions, consult a medical professional.
