When people offer solutions without being informed it sets us up to feel like we should be able to make the “problem go away” if we try hard enough. It puts an impossible burden on the parent and creates feelings of failure.

When I regained full consciousness I was told, they only retrieved 4 eggs… 4. So many drugs for only 4 eggs. We were told repeatedly that only about 1 in 4 eggs make for a viable pregnancy in the normal childbearing age population, with me being in my 40s odds were not looking good.

Initially I was torn with switching things up but I quickly realized that I wasn’t breaking a promise or giving up — I was simply taking the necessary steps to cope with my birth experience.